So yeah, I had a birthday. As with most other anxiety-engendering processes, I live-tweeted the whole mess, with nervous observations ranging from the mundane to bemused/bitter to the semi-scandalous. Occasions of this nature can be a bit loaded for me, owing to frayed and/or volatile relationships with some members of my family, so all my other relationships: familial and otherwise, online and off, are all the more significant to me as I do my best to face down all the usual fears about mortality (or, more precisely, about fulfilling my life’s purposes – from my babies to my books – before I finally keel over).
But in dropping those first nervous messages into the Internet’s often weirdly benevolent tubes, I never expected to be all but pummeled by the collective wonderfulness of so many people in various forums, known to me “in real life” and otherwise, wishing me a happy birthday. It became enough that it was impossible to thank everyone individually, hence this humble blog post, which will still fail to convey the depth of my gratitude, but it’s what I’ve got.
the cake Jeff made me
Nor is this a complete accounting of all generosities received. My teenager made me a beautiful scarf; her sister made me a collage; their dad made me this cake (and, in general, simply made me happy; see above link at “semi-scandalous”). My aunt sang the birthday song over the phone from Idaho – which was hilarious – while my stepmom and dad apologized for not having anything in the mail yet, which was funny, since it turned out to be untrue; the mail was late on my actual birthday, but when it got here, there was a card and a poem from my dad that was nothing short of astonishing. (And not only because he’s finally moved on to wordprocessing from his ancient typewriter. The guy can write.)
And, at a party thrown together with so little forethought, I didn’t manage to invite anyone (while my husband invited a few, mostly via phone while transporting the kids to his folks for the night, while I frantically attempted to clean the house; indeed, when the first guests arrived, I was sweeping into our dustpan enough cat hair to comprise a whole cat) – those who did make it on such short notice brought food and cards and stories and laughter and even, from this lovely person, flowers. (Apologies to the numerous local people we ought to have invited; rest assured it was an exceedingly small, chaotic affair that almost didn’t even happen; we’ll try to do much better next time.)
with Randy before the show
Further, cards and gift certificates were received from lovely friends and family members who probably wouldn’t want to be mentioned on this blog; my BFF surprised me with some long-pined for schwag from my Amazon wish list; and my dear pal Randy, while in New Hampshire doing the last recordings for Wrath, went to this indy bookstore to get this awesome book for me, because he’d bought a copy for himself and, reading it later in the studio, knew I had to have one too. (And then of course put me on the guest list for Lamb of God’s last Richmond show before their national tour, and gave me a birthday shout-out from the stage. Dude. That is a friend.)
But through all that, I really was dumbstruck at the number of people I know online in various capacities (mostly through Twitter and/or Facebook) who sent the kindest and sometimes most hilarious messages, some of which are excerpted below for your enjoyment. If I skipped anyone, God help me, and know I didn’t mean to! Just: thank you. It meant a lot.
A partial registry of awesome birthday greetings received (persons also met “IRL” are in bold, though with plenty of you, I expect it’s just a matter of time until that happens):
| abigvictory (“May your birthday be devoid of cute animals and soul-shredding wordplay”) |
| abonsig |
| aedison |
| ahtitan (“Happy Birthday! You are now three years younger than me. You bitch. You young, young bitch.”) |
| ajinnashville (“Happy B-Day tomorrow, V. And happy hunting tonite”) |
| Akelaa (“HIPPO BIRDIE TWO EWES!”) |
| andersonscooper |
| Ayse E. (“38′s going to be even more kick-ass.”) |
| badkitty_ (“I’ve been trying to think of a suitable present but can’t seem to get it off my chest.”) |
| Barb Adams |
| bcompton |
| Ben Jordan (“Ben *TackleHugs* Victoria screaming Haaaapyyyy fuuuuckkkkking Biiirrrrtttthddddday the whole time”) |
| Bill Griggs |
| BradHart (“my son’s baby sitter nearly lost her job when she said it was cool I was old enough to heard Nirvana before Kurt Cobain died”) |
| brettp |
| bsheepies (“Dear @vmarinelli and @girlmonkey, I’m sorry that your birthday is also a Monday. I’ll wish extra hard that it’s awesome.”) |
| califmom (“Had hoped to locate that thing you lost in the sand to give it to you for your birthday. Turns out you can’t regift virginity.”) |
| caprice_b (“We 60-somethings are laughing at you”) |
| CcSteff |
| ChrisClarkeCRN (“Gets off of @vmarinelli‘s lawn”) |
| cjereneta (“Hippo birdie. Er… TJ Hooker… Mott the Hoople. Welcome to 38. [I'm 32 days away from 40. Not that I'm counting.]) |
| clapifyoulikeme (“Happppppppppppppppppppppy birthday wooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!”) |
| Clayton Diggs |
| cleversimon |
| crispycracka |
| D.L. Hopkins (“Merry annual birthing celebration!”) |
| dani3boyz |
| detweiler (“Was trying to think of a joke, but I think I’ll skip it and wish you a sincere happy birthday.”) |
| Doug Burton |
| eatfoss (“Happy birthday! I think. I was never any good with time zones.”) |
| EffingBoring |
| emilybrianna |
| expat_erin (“Shame I wasn’t online yesterday, as that was your Australian birthday! Many happy returns!”) |
| FanEffingTastic |
| FarkerPeaceboy (“Hey, it’s birthday excitement! Woo-hoo! Have a great one… poo with a bow on it is being flung your way!” 1) |
| fncll (“ Look young lady, I turned 38 exactly a month ago. You have a lifetime of whippersnapperishness to go!”) |
| frageelay (“Happy Birthday!! You’re younger than me. Bitch.” Bwahaha.) |
| Gail M. Witte Anderson (“¡Feliz cumpleaños! Mwah! Mwah! Double-Mwah! [I'm limiting them because reading Mwah! 38 times could get annoying!]”) |
| girlmonkey (“WHOO HOOO! Happy birthday, mon ami! May the next year of your life be filled with good food, great friends, and hard laughter.”) |
| glucas (“38 is the new whatever”) |
| Gwen Wolverton-Diggs |
| Hello_Nurse |
| hoosiergirl (who promises to eat an excess of cake in my honor) |
| IanGraham |
| indefensible |
| jackholt |
| jagosaurus |
| Jessabelle207 (“Happy freakin’ Birthday, @vmarinelli!!!!! I hope you have a fabulous day, my dear!”) |
| Katrina Cauble |
| kayhan |
| kellydeal (“Happy soon to be awesomer at 38!”) |
| Kenya Watkins |
| Kimmy Certa (“Wishing you many more happy and healthy birthdays!!”) |
| kmwalsh |
| lindstifa |
| lonelysandwich |
| MikeTRose |
| Moeskido (“Happy 38th, young lady. Oh, I see you’re busy. Pardon me.”) |
| mogrify (“You must be excited about tomorrow. And not only do you get to meet me in person, but it’s your birthday and there’s a concert!”) |
| MsNovember |
| natthedem |
| peeppeep |
| phaedral (After I’d posted, “Working on blog post thanking every one of you who wished me a happy birthday. Thanks for making this extra-time consuming, sheesh! <3,” replied “Me too, I want to complicate your task too!”) |
| phyllisstein |
| Riskin (“enhappified is best new word of the month – many happy returns”) |
| Robguy |
| Robsama (“I hope @ThunderDolt gave you everything you wanted.”) |
| ronbailey |
| Samantha Emswiler |
| savoytruffle |
| schmutzie |
| SeoulBrother |
| sflovestory |
| shoesonwrong (“Congratulations on making it out of a vagina in 1970!”) |
| smartasshat (“And here I was trying to think of something clever. No luck. But I hope you get lucky! Happy Birthday!”) |
| spdracerx |
| Steve Whitaker |
| Steven Saus |
| tdavenport (“hope you get whatever you want [and didn't get last night])” |
| tehawesome (“Happy Birthday! Kickin’ 38 off by offering sex. I like it. Though you ARE the birthday girl. You could be demanding it…”)2 |
| texburgher (“Happy Birthday. Remember 3+8=11. A PRIME NUMBER.”) |
| thedayhascome |
| Tinu (“Had to say Happy Birthday before I leave. Here’s to 27 more years. You *are* 27, right?”) |
| toldorknown (“Congrats @vmarinelli and @girlmonkey on your new bidets. What?”) |
| twoname (“Happy bday @vmarinelli, even tho she doesn’t follow me.” 3) |
| Vanessa Lane-Griffith |
| Virgotex (“hippie birthday”) |
| wakitu (“Happy last day of being 37! My last day being…a little older than 37…was yesterday. TraLa! May our next be our best year yet!”) |
| weselec (Who, addressing both me and @girlmonkey, wrote: “happy birthday, ladies. I’ll be in the back room when you’re ready to claim your seven minutes in heaven”) |
| wryredhead (“Happy birthday to yooooooou!”) |
| Xytrex (“Oh no, no, no…if you have a b-day coming tomorrow, you have to suffer through it with the rest of us.”) |
__
1 Peaceboy and I have a running thing about being distant poo-flinging monkey cousins.
2 This was in reply to my post, at exactly 12:00 AM on 11/24, addressed to my husband: Hello, midnight! Hey @ThunderDolt, wanna do it with a newly minted 38 year old? (What, too soon?)
3 This was all the more hilarious since he doesn’t follow me on Twitter, either. (Nor do many other people listed above, which is just fine! Indeed, I pray for a world in which Twitter users refuse to get butt-hurt over whether or not everyone they follow is able to follow them in return. We have these things called human limitations which are not personal, you know?)
